Well, it's May, in which I continue to be busy, and also some big and medium-big stuff happens.
Well, working on a Saturday again, so it goes.
We persist with our weekly Star Wars. I am enjoying this more than I would have expected, who'd have thunk it.
Particularly enjoying playing Arboretum at the moment, despite my seething rage that I will never beat my partner at it...
Continuing the 'here's my art' series... This is... progress I guess?!
I've been in my main job with Kings Education for over a decade, ever since I graduated from my undergrad degree. A few years after I started, I was asked to dig around in some old folders for a missing piece of information, and I stumbled across the notes which my boss and senior designer took about me at my interview. Did I look at them? Reader, of course I did. Obviously, they hired me, so the notes were quite sweet and positive, but at one point my work was described as 'naturally corporate'. This was meant as a positive, but my soul died a little inside when I read it.
NATURALLY CORPORATE.
But I guess it makes sense. I've wanted to be a graphic designer for most of my life, and that was because, at a very early age, someone pointed out to me that everything man-made around me had been designed by someone. That crisp packet. That bus ad. That leaflet. That billboard. And when I realised that, I started looking much harder at everything. I grew up awed and inspired by... yeah... corporate design. Gross. Ugh. But there it is, and there I am.
And here's that phrase again. Technically very competant but corporate in style. In theory this MA is a chance to question the work I do, and push outside those boundaries, because who am I creating for here? Not a client. For once.
But nonetheless, I am still creating to get hired, to push my career forward off the back of whatever this MA might bring. The challenge I face is pushing myself beyond those corporate boundaries and into something that remains accessible (because yes, that IS important to me), but also challenges.
Can I pull it off?
Lol who knows
My partner pointed out to me that I'd spelt 'creative' wrong in this one. Seems fitting.
I am genuinely a bit emotional about Topshop being gone. I know I'm too old for it now, and they haven't made anything I've wanted to wear for maybe 5 years now, but going to that big Oxford Circus Topshop was a pilgrimage for young Emma, and I never could have imagined it would one day not be there. Ho hum.
Heads up that Asda (and maybe other places) sell these amazing 'accidentally vegan' pre-made pierogi that boil in like 3 minutes and they're sooooo goooooood
I'm trying to draw these purely from memory, hence why a lot of aspects are... bad
A GRUMPY DAY (some foreshadowing here btw...)
Going to the shops again still feels like a bit of a novelty, y'know? To be honest I am absolutely not on the government's 'Covid is over, go have fun!' train, and am mostly still keeping myself to myself. Maybe I'm depriving myself of nice things, but I'm still really scared?
Thinking a lot about TRAINS
When we first got Chase we were worried she was dangerously underweight (she wasn't, we just weren't used to her body type)... Now we're worried she's fat (but again, I think we're just not used to her body type and are now expecting her to be thinner than she actually needs to be...)
Wait WHAT?! Um, feelings?!!?! My senior designer James, who, as mentioned, hired me just a little over 10 years ago, told me that he had handed in his notice. I'd wondered a few times over the years if this might happen, but at this point just sort of assumed he'd stick around forever. But no... he's had a better offer, and rightly, is leaving. Leaving ME behind! My very best work friend, mentor, design hero... How will I cope?! What will I do!?
What will I do? I mean I guess I'll just stay and get progressively more and more miserable, huh. Luckily it's the weekend. Let's do some other stuff. Me and my partner walked around a bunch of charity shops, and that was a nice time.
"The one with the red face man"
Turns out, Chase is a real scaredy girl when it comes to storms. I had to wrap her up in my heavy blanket to try and settle her and she was still panting and shaking and terrified.
Saw a real good leaf.
Looking forwards to warmer weather, mainly so that I'll stop comfort defaulting to one of these two garments...
I could quit my job though. I COULD. I mean, I couldn't. I'm not yet earning enough from freelancing. I'd be putting myself at risk. But I have some savings from when I was living in Yorkshire and everything was cheap? I could wing it for a bit? Finish my MA and hope for the best? I don't even like the job any more! I only do it one day a week at this point and they pay me a pittance for it. But they're going to put up my hours and probably give me a raise at the end of the year?! I could quit. But I shouldn't. I shouldn't take risks in this climate. I shouldn't make myself vulnerable. What if one of my freelance clients drops me? Or more than one? But quitting is tantalising. I've never quit a job before. Just imagine doing it Emma. Imagine how satisyfing it would be to leave and never go back. But do I want that? Won't I miss them?! After 10 years?! Won't I miss James anyway. But he's leaving...
Fuck it.
LA LA LA LA into the weekend and let's just not think about that huge professional and emotional upheaval and play some boardgames and watch Eurovision! What a joy! Nature is returning!
This one was... less good
It's all kind of a lot you guysssssss
The quality of a lot of my visual diaries is so-so at best right now, because I am juggling so much between work-work (though I HAVE now quit), freelance work and uni work. This one is no exception, but it is notable, because it is the beginning of my final major MA project! (Which lasts until December, so we're not exactly in the end game yet)... If you're interested, I've tried to write a simple summary of what I'm doing here.
Chase doesn't like the hoover either.
Got my first vaccination!!!! It was at the Science Museum, which was very fitting. Everything was very efficient, and I didn't even have to queue! This is very good news and I am happy.
So my housemate, (long since double vacc'd as a healthcare worker) has gone up to Leeds to see her old uni pals, and my partner has gone to see their dad and brother for the first time in well over a year. Which means me and Chase are HOME ALONE?! I have not been home alone for any meaningful amount of time in... A year? Two? More? It's kinda weird.
Got my assessment feedback and... It was QUITE GOOD, I could cry, honestly. I've spent the entirely of this MA in the mindset that I'll probably fail because I am insufficiently academic and smart, but at least I'll have had fun and made friends along the way... But maybe I can actually pull it off?! This feedback was for 'Unit 3', which was basically us building our proposal for our final project (unit 4), which will see us through to December. To have had good feedback on this means I'm hopefully on solid footing for the coming months, and I am extremely relieved about that.
Another Star Wars! This one was... Fine. THE DARK SIDE
Someone dropped a full container of takeaway curry just down the street a couple of days ago, and (presumably also aided by foxes) I have enjoyed seeing it slowly disappear...
Anyway, here we are and it's nearly JUNE. How did that happen? I hope you have a nice one...
