Well, at the end of April when I last wrote to you, I was just freshly recovering from my long-awaited breast reduction surgery. I am pleased to say that it has been a very smooth month for the most part, and I'm feeling great!
For the first couple of days after my surgery I was kind of on a high. I survived! No pain at all! I can do anything! But then I got reallll sleepy, and so I slept a bunch, and it was great.
My friend Heidi came to visit and she bought me some trashy magazines and grapes. We also had burgers and played a boardgame. Exactly the healing energy I needed.
6 days after surgery I felt able to go for a tentative walk down the street to the post office. I had to walk verrrrrryyyyy slowly because (despite the incredibly tight binder in which I was still encased) it felt like I was jiggling. (I was a little upset about this because I didn't really want there to be enough boobs left behind to be able to jiggle...)
Made a stupid collage out of the Hello Magazine that Heidi bought me (burn it all down)
Usually when I try and take a break I just end up working, because my brain won't shut up and I like making money (the joy of freelancing), but my brain had been very 'no thoughts just eat n sleep' since the surgery, and I was sort of worried that I'd got too used to the leisure lifestyle and would never want to work again. But hey ho, only took a week for me to be back to normal...
After 9 days I went back to the hospital to have the terrible tight binder and massive bandages removed. Freedom! I'd had a bit of an allergic reaction to some of the sticky plasters they'd used to seal me in, so my skin was realllllly itchy, but aside from that, everything seemed to be going fine?! The nurse who changed my dressings said my wounds were healing really well, and it was so exciting to finally get to see the new boobs.
Except it also kind of isn't really seeing the new boobs, because they take 6 months to a year to fully 'settle', and they were (and are) still very swollen. They are definitely waaaaay bigger than what I asked for (I wanted like an A cup or less, they're currently closer to a B/C), and kind of disconcertingly perky, because they're full of fluid. WILD.
Didn't stop me trying on ALL MY CLOTHES to see how much better they fit now. (Also calling bullshit on that mean nurse and my mother who were both like 'You don't want to go too flat chested, everything will look bad on you', well sorry, everything looks great, and will look even better once they've shrunk down a bit more.)
My pals Michael, Lucy and Lyall came to visit and we had pizza in the park by my house! Almost like it's summer or something!
I bought my partner a book about making bento because they really like Japanese food. But they don't like cold lunches (wtf) so I have claimed the book, and have been getting really excited about trying to make myself a cute bento each day. I think it's been really good for me?! I eat way more vegetables at lunchtime now, anyway. (Also there were loads of bees in the park that day)
Walked to John Lewis and bought myself a power suit (kinda, mostly just a cute waistcoat with matching trousers). The exciting thing to note here is THE BUTTONS ACTUALLY DO UP AND THERE'S NO GAPING. Hello.
Finally started doing some actual work again (from bed). Ughhhhh
Time for Chase's annual shear! She's so soft and fuzzy right after her clip, she feels like a puppy!
Went back to the hospital for another bandage change. Still worrying a bit about how big the new boobs are. Like, YES, it's a VAST improvement on how things were before, but also it's kinda not what I asked for?! Like why was it so hard to convince the surgeon I want what I want (basically no boobs) and won't regret it? It's just a lot of money to spend on (what I see as) half a job. However I have spoken to the surgeon since this, and she assured me that they are still REALLY SWOLLEN (yes, even 3+ weeks on, that is not long in the scheme of things!) and they WILL go down more. So I'm not feeling as grumpy about this now. Also it's hard to deny how cute they are, even if they are bigger than I want, so I really shouldn't grumble. She has done a lovely job, technically. (And they're still healing great! I'm kind of amazed how thin the scars are, I was expecting much worse)
EUROVISIONNNN! Got really carried away on the snacks front and made like 9 or 10 different country themed bits. Heidi and Rosie came over and we watched it with my housemate Camille and her partner and it was GREAT. (You can see my drawings here)
Starting to get a bit more back into the normal swing of things — Heidi stayed over and we played another boardgame, then I went out for a wander round the shops (but it was actually kind of rubbish, turns out tiny boobs does not solve all clothing fit woes, though it definitely helps...)
Still not quite back up to full speed workwise tho (also got really into Skyrim during my convalesence, which I'd been playing kinda half heartedly for like 6 months already, but suddenly for some reason got REALLY obsessed with)
Recognising that I really need a holiday (despite feeling slightly conflicted about it because I've kind of just had a holiday?! Albeit a holiday that consisted of lying in bed a bunch and sleeping and not really being able to move). Basically I just wanna get out of London for a bit later this summer, gonna head up north I think. But booking things and making decisions is haaaaaard
One of my absolute fav pals Davey came to visit all the way from Montana! I mean he was here for someone else's wedding but I insist it was mostly to come and see me. Had my first cross-London outing since the surgery to go to Tofu vegan chinese in Islington. It was extraordinarily good!
Got grumpy with a client for trying to make me add a BAD colour to my extremely nice colour palette :) (This is not actually a good depiction of my nice colour palette because I didn't have the right colour pens...)
First shift back at Samaritans after my leave of absence for surgery! I am a shift leader now! I have to control the BIG PHONE
Even though I'd been working to a greater or lesser extent since the 11th, and was absolutely back up to full speed at this point, I have stubbornly refused to return to my desk. I have done this before. (Like at Christmas when I got COVID and refused to return to my desk for over a month). The disadvantages of working from a tiny, single screen, with a trackpad, not to mention the terrible ergonomics, feel far outweighed by the notion of sticking it to the MAN (who, in this case, is also me, because I am my own boss) and just working from my bed or armchair for... anything up to several weeks until I eventually realise the folly of my ways?!
Anyway I have still not left my bed and though for some people this might be a warning sign of depression, I am feeling GLORIOUS (famous last words)
Went back to the hospital for my final bandage removal a couple of days prior to this, to discover that I had had an even worse allergic reaction to the glue of the smaller bandages, and basically all of the skin on my chest was sloughing away. However, tits look great (and wounds totally healed over, incredible, bodies are magic). By a couple of days later I was WILDLY, UNBEARABLY itchy across my entire chest, and had a livid red rash. I took myself back to the hospital to confirm definitively that I did not have an infection (phew) and it literally was just a bad skin reaction. They suggested I up my dose of anti-histamines (which I'd already been taking to deal with the itching from the earlier bandages)
Unfortunately, this made me... sleepy
(I find it kind of funny that the worst bit of recovery from someone literally hacking me open and sewing me up again was... a skin rash?! And subsequent drowsiness from the drugs I took to deal with the skin rash?! lolsob.)
I actually felt less able to work at this point than I had done in the days immediately following my surgery, but powered through nonetheless because the work is there and it needs doing.
My friend Davey was still in London and we'd promised ourselves we'd go for a ride on the first day of the Elizabeth line together. It was meant to be like a whole day out, but I still felt wildly drowsy, and there was a big storm which a) put us off the idea of going for a walk, which had been part of the plan, and b) scared my dog so much I wanted to stay home with her. We did eventually go for a ride, much later in the day than planned, and it was great! Then we went to a super cute lil vegan Brazillian place in Brixton with some of Davey's other friends, which was lovely.
Feeling still not on top form, but slightly better, I got the train down to Brighton to attend one of Network Rail and the Design Council's 'Explorestation' workshops, looking at the architectural future of small to medium sized sized railway stations in the UK. It was super fun! I wrote a whole blog about it here!
The next day (considering how rough I was feeling, I had a very busy week), I headed out to my friend Ellis's book launch party! It was lovely to see some familiar faces and have a natter in the occult bookshop basement :)
For most of May I've been totally failing to get my 10,000 steps a day, and I'm trying to get back on it, because I am woefully unfit, and spending a month not doing much hasn't helped. It's way too soon to go back to the gym (gotta wait 6 – 8 weeks for that), but I can walk as far as I want now. Trouble is, my walking buddy isn't exactly motivational — her favourite thing is bed, and while that is extremely wholesome and sweet, it ain't good for me. (I miss Charlie, every day, still)
I was worried work would be quiet when I came back from my recovery time, but luckily all my clients were just waiting in the wings ready to pounce on me as soon as I said 'I'm back!' — this is good! But also... so many tasks 😅 (though admittedly some of those tasks are self inflicted, like, uh, writing this blog)
More thunder storms! Oh no!
I hope you've all had a restful, soothing May (hopefully less itchy than mine). I'm excited to start getting back into the world a bit more in June...
