April 2024

Regular readers might be glad to hear that Emma is slightly less strung out this month (well, unless you're a regular reader who gets a thrill out of Emma's suffering)

On April 1st, me and my partner went to a park in east London to meet JESSIE. Jessie is a German Shepherd from Cyprus, who was bought over by dog charity Underdog International (who I do some freelance design for).

She is around 6 years old, and was apparently an old man's pet her whole life until he had to go into end of life care (so not a street dog, as many of the dogs they bring from Cyprus are). I told Eve from Underdog my whole sorry story about Barley and how he frightened me so much I've been struggling to think about trusting another dog (but how I also feel totally bereft without a dog in my life). She thought that Jessie might be the dog for us. (As a soft, sweet idiot who appeared, from their time with her thus far, to not have any dominance, resource guarding, human or dog agression issues).

She totally wowed us with her chill vibes (happily trotting round a hectic london park off lead without batting an eyelid at kids, bikes, cars, squirrels, other dogs) and her friendly greeting (she was very soft and sweet and ready to be a friend). So we decided to take a chance, and say yes, to Jessie! (Who would come home once the requisite paperwork was completed)

I went to a fun evening event — design studio Common Knowledge, launching their new campaigning tool 'Mapped'. (Common Knowledge are in some ways quite similar to GFSC where I work, so I'm always curious so see what our 'rivals' are up to — in a friendly, uncompetetive way, obvs 😅)

Ran a version of my riso workshop with a group of sixth formers, as part of one of UAL's widening participation initiatives. Taught them how riso works, how to created layered artwork, and got them thinking about 'place', with the task of creating a design/illustration about their neighbourhood in London. They did SO GOOD!

Took an afternoon off to go to the great Fashion City exhibition at the Museum of London Docklands, with my friend Ellis. The exhibition explores the influence Jewish immigrants have had on fashion in London. Even though I dress in fairly drab/plain ways these days, the 7 year old Emma who dreams of being a debutante princess still likes to daydream about wearing all the beautiful gowns.

 Went back to deliver some closing content at the week long workshops with those sixth formers, and they all said such lovely things 🥹 (Also I made some muffins for my Samaritans shift and one of my fellow volunteers handed me to the piece of paper on the top left at the end of my shift, adorable)

Took myself to annual lovely games festival in Somerset House: Now Play This. Had an extremely nice time, as always. (Including an actually not unpleasant VR experience for the first time!? The headsets are still horrible to wear though)

 On reflection this really must sound like a month of 'Emma does anything but work' hahaha (I HAVE also been working, even if it may not seem that way). I went to my extremely good local arts venue's Holi festival celebrations, got my hand henna'd, watched some traditional dancing, and did some block printing (with children). Extremely wholesome fun and mostly exciting because, having moved to 'the suburbs', it's always reassuring when something cool is happening literally 5 minutes walk from your front door.

There are many lovely birds in my back garden, but my fav is always my pal robin redbreast

Still need to work on my 'self care' game tho

Jessie cannot arrive soon enough, gotta get my walking game back up to scratch.

Also, I guess the other news of note is that last month I handed in my notice at GFSC, after two and a half fun/challenging/inspiring/educational/difficult/exciting/frustrating years. I realised that despite only being two days a week of my time, it was occupying my brain 7 days a week, and I couldn't see the inordinately stressful studio culture changing any time soon (despite all our best attempts to combat it). I was also well aware, as a studio lead, that we didn't have any new work upcoming, and had no clear lines to getting any, so it felt almost like destiny that now was the time to step back. That said, despite not having much work on, there was still a lot to tidy up before departing, and on the days when I WAS working on it, it ended up being pretty all consuming, in a 'no time to leave the house' kind of way.

This is probably a terrible choice for me financially, as after the rewire I am flat broke (like, 'going to have to ask my parents for another loan because I've depleted all my savings' broke), so I am simultaneously hoping to secure a more permanent teaching contract at UAL, and touting for more freelance work to help pick up the slack. So, hi, if you're looking for some design...

However, after not leaving the flat for two days, I had a BIG day out — taking my UX students on a trip! I was very proud of this day, because it was also the first day trip I have ever organised as a tutor!

We first went to the National Archives, where our students got to look at some super cool old documents and think about the (extremely long) history of 'UX'. (And saw the 3D printed rat whose paper eating habits were the inspiration for the archives original creation)

Then in the afternoon we went to Kew Gardens, where we set the students a task to explore the 'experience' of the gardens, and how they might improve it. I THINK the students had fun, and I certainly did!

And then Jessie came home!!

When we collected her, her foster carer told us that a) she'd decided she LOVES squirrels (and so could no longer be trusted off lead, as she would not return), and b) that she was scared of... floors?

The latter turned out to be true, after she refused to enter our house past the hallway for around the first 48 hours (finally overcoming her concerns after a fly needed chasing)

"Still not sure about coming in the living room you guys. Also who are you and where am I?"

Still hacking away at the garden. Still wondering if I actually like destroying more than cultivating (which is good as destroying is mostly what needs doing right now)

I've been trying to simultaneously lean in to my harmless guilty pleasures (Merge Mansion, Richard Osman's House of Games, and Chinese Otome fantasy dating game 'Love and Deep Space'), and away from my gross, harmful guilty pleasures (Instagram discover page, hair pulling/skin picking, other mindless scrolling)

A friend asked me earlier today how things are going with Jessie. I said:

"It is very easy to love her when she is sleepy or gently cuddly. She is at an unfair disadvantage because Charlie was the best boy (or just like, I built an irrationally strong bond with him), and Chase was just extremely chill and good with comparatively little effort on our parts. I am still learning to love her — she is clearly a sweetheart and very ready to love back, but every time she's a little bit naughty I'm like 'Oh GOD I have a CHILD again I have to make her BETTER but I don't have the PATIENCE'."

Her main naughty habits are that when she is over excited, she (gently) grabs your hands with her mouth to try and get you to rub her (adorable, but annoying when you are trying to just relax). She's also decided that all the comings and goings of our 4 different sets of neighbours need to be greeted with an abrupt barking spree, plus the aforementioned squirrel chasing issue. Really, those are not huge issues, but Chase was so so very chill, and sweet, and I miss her every single day.

As I then said to my friend...

"It is very easy for me to forget that for the first 6 months (and beyond?!) that I had Charlie I was having daily anxiety about the intensity of his needs and wondering if I'd made a bad choice taking him" — so, we will get there. She's a good girl and she means well. I am still a little bit frightened of her randomly lashing out as well, despite their being absolutely no evidence she will do that — really hoping that will wear off soon. :(

Spent my whole day in horrible dry places that made me feel like a shrivelled prune

Spent the next day, much more nicely, in Brighton, for my pals RTS zines amazing zine popup event on the seafront! So lovely to see some old friends, eat some delicious lunch, and sell a modest number of zines.

I started walking Jessie with the long line, and things got a lot nicer for both of us.

Sometimes I look at my sweet, fragile, smart, stupid, frustrating, inspiring undergrads, and wonder what I'd think if I was somehow able to re-encounter myself as an undergrad (evasive, unwilling to take on board critique, wholly mediocre, but keen!)

Get u a partner who's always telling you you're cute, even when you look like shit 🙃

Some days, focus is like a winding river...

Went to see Colin Stetson (who is amazing) play the soundtrack to Hereditary (a horror movie I never have or will see) with the London Contemporary Orchestra (who are also amazing). It was super fun, and I continue to be pleasantly surprised how chill it is to get from my new home in Croydon to a surprising variety of different bits of central London (Farringdon! It's right there on Thameslink!)

Jessie, it's a valid question. I know he got cancelled. But I still love Masterchef.

Talking of being easy to get to central London, it is also DELICIOUSLY easy to get from Croydon to Brighton! Which I did for the second time this month to spend the day at UX Camp! Having sort of fallen into teaching UX by accident, I've learned that a) I have a real love for the subject, and b) I actually do know a lot more about it than I maybe thought. This was a brilliant day, I learned loads more, and I will absolutely be going again next year.

Jessie, much like Charlie, is at her best (i.e. chillest) when she's had around 2 – 3 hours of walking per day. My partner takes her out for 20 minute or so first thing, one of us (usually me) takes her for around 40 minutes at dinner time, and then she gets her BIG walk (anything from 75 – 120 mins) at lunchtime. One of the other reasons we chose to move to this neighbourhood is the proliferation of green spaces, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover some big, public green spaces a little further out from my house that weren't even marked as green on google maps. (Including a really lovely bit of woodland that was part of the great north wood)

Having been to a lot of events this month, I should also note that I do love it when the event gets cancelled

 Did a mega long walk with Jessie at lunchtime today, and enjoyed the sun and how gloriously green everything finally is. Spring, at last! (Time to mow my lawn again...)

Here's hoping for a fresh month of less work (but still lots of money please? Oh god please), fun stuff, self-care, dog bonding, and general gentleness.